I decided to do this because, I was really bored I like being organized. If, you are having issues finding something I've written, or a link doesn't work, all of theese links should work for you.


So, onward to the ( Magical Fic List )

Cell phones. People always end up usuing them to text and ignoring people. Or when they have a call they say "Wait ___ is calling." and then block out the other person.
I do this, but I always ctach myself and stop.

Yesterday in gym class I was really tired, because we had to run ten-minutes, and I wanted to get all my points so I ran the whole time. And then since my class is playing basketball I had to go with my team -who I did not want to be on the team with-.
We lost our first game.
We lost our second game.
We lost our third game.
We lost our fourth game.

Our second game we played againt theese guys who are very tall, and good at playing. Well My team said "fuck it, they are goign to beat us anyways" and just stood there.
I was teh only one playing. I was tired, and had a headache and I just had enough of the day and wanted to go home.
Then I got really upset when the main guy on their team had to keep tellign the others to calm down because we were girls.
I am a girl... but I shouldn't be played against differently because of it. It made me angry that my team wasn't trying. And that i was diving for the ball, got hit a couple times tryign to jump between peopel to get the ball, and I was teh only one trying.
We got to our third game and when they said "we can beat them, they arefat girls" I cried.

Only three of them were fat, and that's what those three used as an excuse. I was so angry becauise I didn't want to be on their team because I knew they used it as an excuse.
Like they said "Oh yeah, my goal for the pacer test is 2." SRSLY! WTF! I got 20 because I didn't feel like working hard.
This is now just turning into rambling but that made me angry.



Alex & I broke up. It feels liek it was forever ago, but it was just a month ago. I really miss him.
He is so amazing to me, no one can see that. And they say I can do better. And that he doesn't deserve me...
But I feel like it's the other way. He ca do better (and he is.) and that I don't deserve him.
I miss him is all.
the whole week after we broke up I couldn't sleep. I hated it.
But I don't even think he thinks about me anymore. We text sometimes, but it rarely happens.


I may go to europe this summer. :] but I don't know if I'll be able to get 7,000 dollars in time for it.
I will do anything to get to europe.


"Hell or glory, I don't want anything in between."

I had this stupid Garage Sale thing to do.
I think she only became a vegetarian because it would make her seem cool, or make her seem like me. That really annoys me; an dnow that I'm not vegetarian anymore I think she feels stupid.
She also made me angry when she said that having to take chicken off of a salad would be sutpid because the salad is still 'contaminated' yes, it may be(whatever.bullshit)... but you're not eating the meat so stfu.

I got a bruise and I don't know where from. I normally never bruise, and it's worrying me because this bruise is purple and blue... and really dark. And I didn't fall or anything. I don't know why but it does worry me quite a bit.

I hate going to the doctor's, I hate that they have to examine you so closely. And I'm hoping she doesn't pay such close attention that she sees scars and asks; my dad doesn't know and I'm afraid of what he'll say.

I am getting anxious, because I'm seeing my friend that I haven't talked to for awhile tomorrow.
I hope her friends like me. I also hope she hasn't changed...

I've been so happy for the past week, and I love being happy; but I'm afraid I'm going to get depressed again. I don't want that to happen.

He's leaving for three days. He told me 3 weeks because he was kidding and I freaked out. 3 weeks is too long (even though that's irrelavent to him leaving.).
I got really angry at him because he didn't even notice me he was too busy talking to her. I know he hasn't seen her in awhile.
But I like when I don't hear about him walking her home because then I know I was the last person he kissed; at the momment I'm not.
Also, I'm annoyed with her for coming and not telling him; I wouldn't of had to see them if she would have told him. He came back after his off period for me. Not her.
I feel too jealous of them it makes me sad.
I am worrying baout him not being my friend after awhile. And then I'm also afraid becaus ethere are places in my normal walking route that remind me of him. That might hurt.
I just don't wanna lose him because then I'll feel like I did so many things for someone and they don't care. I dont' feel like he cares rigth now; but he must ebcause he keeps tlakign to me.

I want to go to the mall just with Becca, she's fun to be around. Also.. I have more fun with just her than I would with a large group of people.

My bruise is still worrying me. But it's kinda shaped like a lower-case w. I'm getting it to go away and now I want it back.

I'm freaking out because of Homecoming; I'm goig but I have no one to go with. No one has asked. I was going wiht my friend.. btu now she's goign with Becca; because of him. And I'm not goign with him I was just walkign with him.

I feel like my friends hate me when I'm with him. but I barely see him in school; so when I get to walk home with him I take the chance.


I think I'm gettign sick again; but I don't kwno hwo that's possible I was just getting over being sick.
And... haha I got him sick. And now she is sick because of him.
:D it's funny to know that I'm resposible for 2 people being sick.

sleep sounds so good right now.

( slightly )
--

'I can love you much better, if you can't see it you're blind' - the hush sound

Dear Old Friend,
This is my second letter on here to you but.
You really fucked yourself up you know that?
You used to be so pretty. I was lookign at pictures from my 10th birthday party; you looked so pretty and you looked normal.

Love,
Lanna


Dear Self,
What did you do to your hair!?
It used to be so pretty and long.
Now when it's not straightened it barely touches your shoulders and it's really curly.
What did you do?
*cries* WHY!? it was gorgeous!

Hate,
Self

Ryan woke up the next morning with his side hurting, he slowly tried to move away from Brendon, but his arm was around his so tightly, and he wondered what happened the night before. He turned himself around to face Brendon and Brendon was still sleeping. He smiled at him and then kissed him softly on the lips hoping he wouldn’t wake up.
Ryan then slowly rolled away on his side and Brendon opened his eyes.

“Hey, sorry. I just… have to pee.” Brendon nodded quickly and then his eyes fluttered shut again. Ryan sighed and walked out to the hallway. He tried to think about anything he brought with him, when he couldn’t think of anything, he walked down the hallways, and to the front door, and left without another word.


Brendon woke an hour later and looked around remembering Ryan saying he had to pee, he looked at the time, and realized that Ryan had said that an hour ago. He pouted and then got up and began to pick up the blankets that littered the floor. When he tossed them on his bed Ryan’s cell phone fell out of them, and hit the floor with a thud.

“Are you okay in there Brendon?” his mom called.

“Yeah mom. Something just fell. hey mom, I’m gonna take a shower and then go to Ryan’s,” he said and then got his clothes ready so he could go.


He slowly began walking to Ryan’s house, but after walking a block his walking pace was steady. When he rounded the corner of Ryan’s house he saw that the car that his father had picked him up in that one day was gone. So he proceeded up to the house and rang the doorbell.
Seconds later Ryan was standing at the door with a flushed face and his hair was tossed around and wet.

“Hey, you left your phone…” Brendon said taking the phone out of his back pocket.

“Come in. my dad won’t be home for a couple more hours,” Ryan said reaching out to get the phone.

They walked into Ryan’s house and sat on the couch. Brendon looked around the house since he had never been inside of it before.

“What?” Ryan asked breaking Brendon from his trance.

“nothing. Your house is just nice.”

“Thanks. Sorry about leaving earlier. I just wanted to come home and take a shower.”

“What did your dad say when he saw you?”

“Nothing. He hasn’t seen me yet. Uhm. About that…can I spend another night at your house?”

“Sure. I don’t mind, and my mom will probably allow it too.”

“Thanks. I really don’t like how I need to stay at your house, it’s just… I’m scared of dealing with him right now.” Ryan looked down after saying the last sentence and Brendon was confused. Normally Ryan had this hard exterior, and he never really seemed to talk about this, but he had just said that he was scared.

Brendon moved closer to Ryan, and he didn’t pull away. Brendon put his arms around Ryan, and when expected Ryan to pull away, he leaned into his chest. Brendon looked down at Ryan, and he saw what he was scared to see on Ryan’s face. Tears.

Brendon kissed Ryan forehead and Ryan opened his eyes, and smiled.
“I’m sorry about everything I’ve said. Really, I’m such an ass.”

“It’s fine,” Brendon muttered and looked away so he wouldn’t have to face a teary Ryan. Ryan closed his eyes again and began to relax when he heard a car engine turning off. He jumped up quickly and whispered for Brendon to go upstairs, Brendon was about to protest but when Ryan turned to him looking serious with no sign that he had cried on his face Brendon went up the stairs.

Brendon sat quietly in Ryan’s room when he heard yelling. “Where the hell have you been? Fucking that boyfriend of yours?” then he heard a muffled response from Ryan. more yelling and then he heard a smash.

He was tempted to run down the steps and stop the man hurting Ryan, but decided against it. He sat a few more minutes when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He got scared, and his heart began to beat faster. What would happen if Ryan’s dad had found him in his room? What would he think?
The door opened slowly and Brendon’s breath hitched, but when he saw Ryan poke his head in the door he smiled a smile of relief.

Ryan smiled too but then gathered clothes and walke dout the door. “Follow me.” Brendon hesitated, but then followed him. Brendon and Ryan walked downthe stairs and when Brendon saw Ryan’s dad sitting on the couch he almost had a heart attack.

“Dad, I’m going to Brendon’s house. Bye. I’ll see you later.” Ryan’s dad nodded but didn’t look at Ryan. As they walked by Brendon looked at Ryan’s dad who was looking at the table but he couldn’t see what he was looking at.

When they got outside Ryan smiled bigger. “What did you do?”

“He pushed me to the ground, and I put a pan behind the wall that he pushed me near. So I picked it up and hit him. Then I hit him in the face when I got up. Calm down.”

“But… won’t he retaliate?”

“No. He won’t. See, bullies don’t want a fight. So when you fight back, they give up, because it’s not fun anymore. And in case he was too drunk to remember, he’ll feel that in the morning.” Brendon just glanced at Ryan in disbelief.

The boy who had just said he was scared of his father, just hit him with a pan. But why hadn’t his dad passed out? What exactly happened? He wondered, but then decided not to ask, because Ryan seemed ok.

When they arrived at Brendon house Brendon’s mom smiled slightly and nodded when Brendon asked if Ryan could stay the night again. They walked to his room and Ryan put his stuff in a small pile next to Brendon’s bed. They sat in the middle of Brendon’s room listening to music and occasionally saying a couple words, but it was all silence until Brendon got curious.

“Ryan…about the thing with your dad. If you hit him with a pan, then wouldn’t he be like. Passed out or dead?”

“Well I didn’t hit him hard…”

“But you said he was on the ground when you punched him.”

“Well he was. I think he went down in pain or something. I don’t know.”

“But…”

“Are you saying I’m lying? Look, if I was lying, what would have happened?” Ryan paused looking at Brendon. “Nothing. Exactly. So let’s change the subject.” Brendon moved a little on the floor as the music continued to play. Ryan laid on his back and Brendon couldn’t help but to look at him, because his shirt rose up just barely enough for him to see a little bit of skin between his shirt and pants.

Brendon had an intake of breath and looked up to see Ryan smirking at him. He looked away and next thing he knew Ryan was in front of him on his knees. He wondered what he was going to do. It’s not like he could move, and he didn’t think Ryan would do anything with his mom downstairs.

Ryan leaned in and moved his knees along the floor moving uncomfortably closer to Brendon. He kissed his neck and then moved back looking at Brendon. Brendon blinked a couple time looking up at Ryan. Ryan smiled and then moved closer again this time kissing form his nec k up his jaw and to his lips.

Brendon pulled away quickly and then got into the same position as Ryan; on his knees. Ryan ran his hands up Brendon shirt and then moved hi fingers in small circles on his lower back. Brendon moved his hips forward and moved his hands to Ryan’s back as well, only not so low.

Ryan moved his hands to the front of Brendon and down to his lower stomach. He began to fumble with his belt and Brendon moved his hips forward again and Ryan rubbed his boner then went back to his belt.

“Brendon honey! Come here please.” Brendon pulled away from Ryan quickly, and straightened his shirt. Ryan plopped down looking disappointed.

“Right there mom!” Brendon straightened his shirt again and paused at his hard-on. He sighed and walked out the door trying to not think about hat just happened. Looked down the stairs at his mom and she was standing there looking angry.

“Explain to me, this grade, young man.”

“What grade mom?” he said not moving. His boner was still not gone, and he didn’t want to move to where she would be able to see it.

“You have a B in math,” she said tapping her toe.

“Sorry mom. I really haven't been trying.”

“Well then maybe you should I think it’s,” she paused looking up as if Ryan were there then quietly said, “Ryan,” returning to her normal tone, “messing up your grades.”

“I’m really sorry mom. I’ll try to get it up.” She nodded seeing Ryan walk up behind Brendon. “Mom, can Ryan spend the night?” She nodded again and then returned to the kitchen.

Brendon turned and looked at Ryan who was smirking again. Brendon glared and went back to his room.

“Well that was a boner-killer,” Ryan said after he shut the do or and locked it. He walked over to Brendon who was laying on the bed and smiled.

“No. we are not doing that again,” Brendon said stopping him before he got to the bed. Ryan pouted and Brendon rolled his eyes. “You can’t pout as well as I can.”

“Well then can I at least give you a blowjob?”

“A what?!” Brendon said his eyes getting wide.

“You know...head,” Ryan bobbed his head back and forth motioning how it happened.

“I know what you mean! No.” Brendon shook his head of the idea, or he’d end up saying yes.

Ryan put his legs over Brendon and looked at him. He moved down over his legs and started messing with his half undone belt again. He looked up at Brendon through his eyelashes and saw Brendon propped up on his elbows looking down at Ryan.

Ryan took that as a ‘continue’ and he pulled Brendon’s pants down seeing his erection through his boxers. He smiled again looking up at Brendon who was still looking down at him. He tugged at one side of the boxers and then pulled them down completely.

Brendon felt Ryan take him into his mouth and he let out a ra gged breath. His elbows collapsed under him and he just laid back feeling Ryan moving his head up and down, and seeing glimpses of Ryan’s head moving. Ryan pulled completely off of Brendon and he whimpered.

“Ry-Ryan, please.” Ryan smirked again, his head went down and Brendon felt him kiss his tip. He thrusted his hips forward again and saw Ryan come back up. He made a face at him shook his head and went back; this time taking as much of Brendon as he could in. he hummed a song and Brendon moaned quietly.

Brendon came and Ryan came u and made a weird face. He then swallowed Brendon seeing his Adam’s apple bobbing.

Brendon blinked and then thought of ways to change the subject from what just happened. “So…”

“I won’t mention it to anyone. Right.” Brendon nodded and then the room fell silent except for the music that had been playing the whole time.

Brendon sighed and then decided this was another time to ask. “About your dad. I really don’t think that hitting him with a pan would do it…”

“Do you seriously want to know what happened?” Brendon nodded almost regretting he asked. Ryan was glaring at him.
Ryan shook his head and got quiet and thoughtful looking for a minute.

“Okay, so you know how I do drugs, every so often?”

“It’s not ‘every so often’ Ryan…” Brendon said looking up at him and Ryan just glared at him.

“Do you want me to fucking tell you? Or are you going to fight everything I say?”

“Continue.” Brendon looked to his lap.

“So, I normally you know just get my ass beat. But one night my dad walked in on me doing a line and he said he’d kick my ass every night I didn’t give him what he asked for. Tonight I told him I didn’t have any, so he kicked me to the ground and he told me that if I didn’t give it to him he’d beat my ass that and I’d be kicked out. So I gave him what I had. That’s why he left me alone. Because he had what he needed.” Brendon nodded taking all of this in and then looked at Ryan.

“I didn’t know you did coke.”

“I normally don’t. I’ve only done it once; which is the time he walke din on me. But tonight I wanted to do it again you know because… I just liked it the first time and I kept not doing it because I could barely provide for my dad’s habit both of ours would be impossible.”

“Why didn’t you tell me originally?”

“It sounds a little fucked up. You know… a son giving his dad his fix or getting his ass beat.”
Brendon took all of this in again and nodded.

“No more.” Ryan nodded.
But Brendon knew that Ryan would not stop. Hell, he’d probably try to get Brendon to do it next.

Title: Camp Of Rapists, Killers, and Thieves
Author: alanna=blah274
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: William/Brendon, Ryan/William. future!Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd Ryan centric
Summary: Ryan is a bad boy. He's done an un-speakable crime, and now he's being sent to a Juvenile Delinquent Camp. At the camp he meets some of the most interesting people, but one couple seems to interest him more than the other, will him getting caught up in the relationship get him killed or will he end up falling in love himself?
Disclaimer: If you believe this then you are foolish. I don't own the members of Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is..., Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes, or any other people mentioned in this.
Beta: i_am_me113

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four]

( chapter )

Title: Camp Of Rapists, Killers, and Thieves
Author: alanna=blah274
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: William/Brendon, Ryan/William. future!Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd Ryan centric
Summary: Ryan is a bad boy. He's done an un-speakable crime, and now he's being sent to a Juvenile Delinquent Camp. At the camp he meets some of the most interesting people, but one couple seems to interest him more than the other, will him getting caught up in the relationship get him killed or will he end up falling in love himself?
Disclaimer: If you believe this then you are foolish. I don't own the members of Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is..., Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes, or any other people mentioned in this.
Beta: i_am_me113

[One] [Two] [Three]


( chapter )

A/N:So this took awhile to post. I wrote it really quick though. it's really long, so I hope you enjoy it.
:]
Concrit and comments are lovely.


[One] [Two]

( Chapter )

Title: Camp Of Rapists, Killers, and Theives
Author: alanna=blah274
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: major: William/Brendon, Mike/Jon, Ryan/William; minor: Ryan/Spencer, Jon/Spencer; eventual: Ryan/Brendon, Pete/Spencer, William/?, Jon/Mike
POV: 3rd Ryan centric
Summary: Ryan is a bad boy. He's done an unspeaskable crime, and now he's being sent to a Juvenile Delinquent Camp. At the camp he meets some of the most interesting people, but one couple seems to interest him more than the other, will him getting caught up in the relationship get him killed or will he end up falling in love himself?
Disclaimer: If you belive this then you are foolish. I don't own the members of Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is..., Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes, or any other people mentioned in this.
Beta: i_am_me113
Author Notes: End.
One

( Chapter )

So I got there late, at like 6:30, but I still got in the front pretty much.

When teh show started we were at the far left side, and we couldn't see one of the members of Phantom Planet or the drummer.
Then we moved across the floor to be about right in front of Ryan and Spencer.


Phantom Planet: I haven't really listened to them, but they were fun. They invited Ryan out to do a song (Do The Panic I beleive it was called), and people went effing crazy.

The Hush Sound: They opened with Medicine Man, and then Bob sang a lot, then Brendon came out for Don't Wake Me Up. People once again went crazy.

The time between The Hush Sound and Motion City Soundtrack was crazy, it got really hot, and I was about ready to die.

Motion City Soundtrack: I don't listen to them much, but they were pretty amazing. The crowd loved them, and during one song, I practiclaly was picked up, it was fun.

Time between Motion City Soundtrack and Panic, was pretty crazy. And I ended up from being two p[eople behind the barricade to like five. I hated it, but whatever.
During it Honey by The Hush Sound came on, and I was just singing while everyone was pushing, I was lifted off of my feet and it was fun, they swayed with the music. :]

Panic At The Disco: They were damn amazing. Of course tehy opened with We're So Straving and Nine In The Afternoon. During There's a Reason... They had us snap to some parts and do jazz hands to other parts. Jon kept sayign into the mic what to do. It was fun.
Northern Downpour sounded really good. They had us sing, and said if we didn't Zack would attack us.
Then Brendon came out and had us do the begining part of Time To Dance, it was fun as well. AQfter Tim To Dance they did Pas De Cheval(i think..) and Mad As Rabbits.
After pas De Cheval I felt dizzy, so I'm not sure if they did it before Mad As Rabbits.
They also had bubbles for Behind The Sea, and Mad As Rabbits.
Then it ended.

As we were leaving we saw Eric Ronnick, so my frineds took a picture with him. I didnt't because my hair was so messed up, and I was scared to see what it looked like.

I wanted to meet them, but I didn't get a chance to, but I did yell at Zack a lot.
"Zack, if you love us you'd give us more water!!"
"Zack, you're fucking GOD! NO! You're above god!"


Oh, and a random thing to throw in this, there was this guy, and when I was clapping to a Motion City Soundtrack song, I rested my elbow on his shoulder and I didn't even know him.

There was also this really cool lady, she was 21 (i think) and yeah, she was cool, she kept hitting me then she was all "I'm sorry honey!" it was funny.


all together, it rocked bawls.


I'll add pictures&videos later.

Title: Camp Of Rapists, Killers, and Theives
Author: alanna=blah274
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: major: William/Brendon, Mike/Jon; minor: Ryan/Spencer, Jon/Spencer; eventual: Ryan/Brendon, Pete/Spencer, William/?, Jon/Mike (small Ryan/William)
POV: 3rd Ryan centric
Summary: Ryan is a bad boy. He's done an unspeaskable crime, and now he's being sent to a Juvenile Delinquent Camp. At the camp he meets some of the most interesting people, but one couple seems to interest him more than the other, will him getting caught up in the relationship get him killed or will he end up falling in love himself?
Disclaimer: If you belive this then you are foolish. I don't own the members of Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is..., Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes, or any other people mentioned in this.
Beta: i_am_me113
Author Notes: End.

( Chapter )

almost too difficult to answer.
but pirates win. they have fancy clothes and cool names.

edit:
and they have parrots.
my friend says that's totally un-cool. but I think talking birds would own.

Title: Save
Author: alanna blah274
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd
Summary: Ryan is a rebel, but Brendon is just trying to survive in his new school. But who can avoid something so gorgeous?
Disclaimer: Not real. Idea is mine. Title and cuts from The Rocket Summer.
Author Notes: End.

Previous Chapters:
Prologue
I don't get it, I'm don't asking for much,
But everybody's just got to have something,
So I'll be picking me up,
Breaking me down,
I was lost was I found?
I wanna Feel Everything,
When Everything Feels Wrong With Me,
Take A Look And Brace Yourself,
Everybody Wants To Make It Count,


( Save Me )

Title: Save
Author: alanna blah274
Rating: mm. Probably about PG-13.
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd
Summary: Ryan is a rebel, but Brendon is just trying to survive in his new school. But who can avoid something so gorgeous?
Disclaimer: Not real. Idea is mine. Title and cuts from The Rocket Summer.
Author Notes: End.

Previous Chapters:
Prologue
I don't get it, I'm don't asking for much,
But everybody's just got to have something,
So I'll be picking me up,
Breaking me down,
I was lost was I found?
I wanna Feel Everything,
When Everything Feels Wrong With Me
Take A Look And Brace Yourself


( Everybody Wants To Make It Count )

Title: Save
Author: alanna blah274
Rating:
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd
Summary: Ryan is a rebel, but Brendon is just trying to survive in his new school, and avoid trouble. But who can avoid something so gorgeous?
Disclaimer: Not real. Idea is mine. Title and cuts from The Rocket Summer.
Dedication: xxanti_narbxx because she reminded me that I hadn't updated in forever. And she has a kick ass fic; I Don't Love You I'm Just Passing The Time.
Author Notes: End.

Previous Chapters:
Prologue
I don't get it, I'm don't asking for much,
But everybody's just got to have something,
So I'll be picking me up,
Breaking me down,
I was lost was I found?
I wanna Feel Everything,
When Everything Feels Wrong With Me

(  Take A Look And Brace Yourself )

Title: 10 Song Drabble
Author: alanna blah274
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd
Summary: Ten songs, that I made ficlets to.
Disclaimer: None of these are real. Don’t own the boys because Pete owns them
Author Notes: End.
( 10 songs! omg. )

I don't even know why, but I just started to feel really sad and angry. I want to just smack the shit out of someone.
or get the shit smacked out of me.
I want to lean on someone and just cry my eyes out.
I want badly for this year to be over.
I want my boyfriend to leave, he seems to be stressing me most.
I love him so much, I just feel really empty around him.


I wish I knew what the fuck was wrong with me, because I want to fix it.

I hate my teachers for giving limited amounst of passes out of class, because lately all I've wanted to do is wander the halls, and just breath.

Pretty much nothing depending on the person you are joking with.
But a couple things I never joke about is
Cancer, death, mentally challenged people (it makes me sad, they understand you, and it shows in thier eyes.), child and animal abuse, and I think that's it.